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I thought it would be a good idea to tell you all my testimony of how God changed me from a cussing, little brat to the person I am today.
I was born in Colorado on February 17, 1990 in a small hospital. My brother, Craig was born in the same hospital, same room, and same nurses on March 16, 1991.
The start of the memories of my life began in Tulsa, Oklahoma when I was about 3. I lived with my mom, dad, and younger brother Craig. We live in North Tulsa in a tiny one bedroom house in a run down neighborhood.
My dad was hardly ever home because he was a truck driver, and my mom couldn’t get a job to help pay the bills because she had to take care of us kids. Well, needless to say we were kicked out of our house. It was around this time that my parents divorced. Not long after the divorce my mom got hooked up with some guy, who later became my step-dad.
Well, about three months after we had moved into the apartments, we boarded a Grey Hound bus and went to Washington where my grandparents lived. We stayed with them over the Christmas season, then we moved again to California.
In California, we moved from one homeless shelter and apartments to another. When I was about 6; I was raped my step-dad's best bud. When I told my parents about what had happened; they didn't believe me.
By the time I was 6 1/2 both my parents drank, smoked pot, and my step-dad was a pack-a-day smoker.
My step-dad would often beat us kids with the metal part of a belt when he was high, or in a drunken rage.
My youngest brother was born when I was about 6 1/2, and soon Craig and I felt left out, and unwanted.
When I was in the 4th grade, my family moved in with some friends we had known when we were in a homeless shelter together. That school year proved to be extremely hard. I got head lice, and I couldn’t get rid of it. In the end I missed about half of the school year.
Near the end of my 4th grade year, my parents got a tax return check. My mom and step-dad then decided to move us to Oklahoma so we could be near my step-dad’s parents.
So we packed up the car and moved to Oklahoma. We stayed with my grandparents about a year then moved into a small trailer park about a half a mile away from the Tulsa Zoo.
I started attending the public school in the town that I lived in after summer break. Since I had missed so much school when we lived in California, I had to do 4th grade over again. I was very shy at first. I wouldn’t talk to anyone, and when I did start to talk people called me an idiot.
Well, 4th grade came and went, and we had moved in with my grandparents again, and it was then that I did things that to this day I still regret. Some of these sins included sexual sins, cussing, and drinking beer. It got worse as I got older.
5th grade came and went, and I became very bitter. I hated everyone. I wanted to move out of my grandparents house so bad that I actually attempted to run away on several occasions. None of these attempts succeeded though. It was like something or Someone was stopping me from doing it.
6th grade was the peek of it all. During the summer I had prayed the prayer. I only did it though because I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. But when I got back from summer camp my life continued to go down hill at top speed. I cussed every other word, had a bad relationship with a boyfriend, drank, smoked, I started messing around with pot and I tried to commit suicide on several occasions. On top of all this I was pushing God as far away from me as I possibly could.
Well, 6th grade finally ended and I had promised myself that I was going to commit suicide during the summer or run away. I just couldn’t stand living with my grandparents any longer.
One fateful day my aunt came and picked me up to spend the weekend at her house, and while in the car she asked me if I wanted to come and live with her and her family. I enthusiastically said yes. So a few weeks later Craig, Adam, and I went to live with my aunt and uncle. Within weeks we all began to call them Mom and Dad because they were more of parents to us then our real parents had been.
Almost immediately I saw a difference in the way that they lived their life and how I lived mine. They didn’t cuss, smoke, drink, or yell at each other. I can honestly say that I wanted what they had. So I started to listen to my new parents and to the pastor at the church I started attending. I was told several verses during my time of searching that I would like to tell all of you. I was told that Heaven is a free gift. Romans 6:23- For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. I was also told that Heaven cannot be earned or deserved. Ephesians 2:8-9- For by grace you are saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast. Let’s just say for instance you have a friend and that friend gives you a very expensive car ( 2006 Corvette) for your birthday. And out of the blue you start pulling out your wallet or purse to give your friend some money to help pay for this gift. That would be so insulting! It is a gift that must be accepted freely because if you pay for it then it is no longer a gift. I think you guys will understand this more clearly when I tell you what the Bible says about man. You see, man is a sinner. Romans 3:23- For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Let me explain what sin is. Sin is anything that is contrary or goes against God’s perfect law. Some of these sins could be lying, cussing, pride, lust, and hatred. The Bible tells us that these are all sins. You are probably think, “Everyone does it, so what?” Just because everyone does it doesn’t make it right. Sin is a very serious issue! And since man is a sinner, he can’t save himself. We would have to be perfect. Matt. 5:48- Be perfect as your Father in Heaven is perfect. Some of you have heard the saying that the good stuff you do in your life will outweigh the bad. If this theory were true or even possible then there would be no need for Jesus to come to earth. Sin is sin.
Let me clarify on who God is. God is merciful therefore he doesn’t want to punish us. 1 John 4:8b- ...for God is love. But God is just therefore he must punish sin. Exodus 34:7b- He will by no means clear the guilty. So we have a major problem. This problem was solved about 2000 years ago in the person of Jesus Christ. Christ is the infinite God-man. John 1:1,14- In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us and we beheld his glory the glory as of the only begotten of the Father full of grace and truth. (In the Bible the word Word is capitalized which means it is a name of God. So in other words you can replace the word Word with the name of Jesus.) You see, Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose from the dead 3 days later to pay the penalty for our sin and purchased a place in Heaven for us. Isaiah 53:6- We all like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him (Jesus) the iniquity of us all. This free gift can only be received by faith. The key to Heaven; the key that will open the doors of Heaven; is called saving faith. Saving faith is trusting in Jesus Christ alone for eternal life. Acts 16:31- Trust on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved... Finally the light bulb above my head clicked on and I knew what I had to do. So right then and there, while I was laying in bed, I put my trust in Jesus Christ, and decided to live for Him.
Sure life is still really hard at times, in fact recently I had fallen away from God, and had become a cutter, but not only that I had tried to commit suicide. I finally came back to God and have walked with Him ever since.
Later after I had gone through my struggles with cutting and all, I had asked myself why that had happened to me. Well, a few months later a friend of mine was going through the same thing that I had already experienced, and I was able to help that person in a way that not very many people could have.
So now I come to the end of my testimony. I want to thank you for reading my testimony. I pray that one day you all will come to know Jesus Christ in a personal way, just as I have. Thank- you and God bless!
(I would encourage you to check out the other testimonies on this blog, and if you would like to submit your own testimony; just shoot me your testimony by
email. Thanks and God bless!)